Give Thanks for What We Do Not Want
A week ago, I celebrated my 69th birthday. One of the greatest gifts of my life I gave to myself decades ago. Journal writing daily.
Journaling about a difficult life experience over the past two months highlighted the transformative force of journal writing once again. Daily I wrote of old hurts, memories, and insecurities triggered by this life happening.
I made room for it all…even bits I did not want. A friend read a passage from the book “Keeper ‘N Me,” by Richard Wagamese that inspired me to give thanks for all I did not want.
Give Thanks for What We Do Not Want
The wisdom keeper in the story tells a troubled young man seeking his Indigenous identity to sit and tie tobacco bags offering thanks with each one. Not just thanks for home, life, family, food – although gratitude for all of that is good – but to give thanks for the part in you and in your life that is difficult to be thankful for.
Within my journal I asked, “How am I to give thanks for parts of my life – of myself – where I feel hurt and shame?” I inserted specific, difficult memories here. Writing flowed upon the page. Unexpectedly, gratitude surfaced for gifts given during my lowest, darkest days.
Each morning rereading my previous journal entry more gratitude, stunning insights, and tenderness arose. And too, more unwanted memories I have hidden or blamed myself for – for far too long – emerged. Once again, I asked how to find gratitude for these unwelcome parts within me and my history. Answers flowed within my journal.
Page by page, within my journal gentleness, gratitude and astonishing awakenings transmuted “my demons,” “worst failures,” and “unworthy/shamed” self. Gratitude filled me for multi-layered learnings I received. Gratitude sprung for the strength and love of my warrior woman self who survived… who found a way to rise above it all.
A potent wide view of the dark AND the light AND the love AND the strength within me relieved me of past burdens. Tender acceptance of my hurt self and my broken ancestors released my shame.
Day after day, as I wrote the insights and awakenings with my journal over the past two months a holy healing infused me with a newfound wholeness. This transcendent experience has inspired me to write and include this powerful healing within my memoir – a lifelong calling.
Dear friends, the power of writing your life upon the page is a pearl beyond price. It is the greatest gift you can give yourself.
P.S. A caveat on the practise of seeking gratitude for the most difficult within you and your life. If these difficult parts are very painful it may be safer to work with a professional first or allow time for healing to begin. (This healing wholeness is not a one-time event but rather an ever-evolving awakening cultivated by journal writing and healing practises.)
