What is Your Legacy?

To my surprise on Sunday, March 3rd my son came downstairs to see me. (My husband and I live in the lower-level suite while my son, daughter-in-law and grandchild live upstairs). Charles asked me, “Mom, would you be a speaker at the inaugural Legacy North Academy basketball camp that we are launching?" I voiced my concern of not fitting in as I do not play or coach b-ball.

Coaching me, my son said, “It is a basketball camp, but our focus is on mental health – which you know lots about. Speak of how you overcame huge adversity as a woman and professional community leader.” Charles informed me he had sent my “About Me” page from myhealingjournal.ca to his friend and legacy event founder, Ben Eby.

Despite eddies of self-doubt I said, “Yes!” I felt deeply honoured by my grown son (!!) asking me to participate in this visionary event, aiming to shape young minds and hearts toward mental, emotional well-being through the venue of basketball.

Within my journal I prayed for a clear message if I was to be a speaker at this event for young athletes. The old habit of self-doubt chirped, “How was I to be a speaker when I never played/coached b-ball…and too, that I was unathletic these days with my ability to stand/walk limited due to the nerve damage in my toes from frost bite 4 months ago…” Rather than listening to these limiting beliefs I chose to focus on the truth on my wisdom and wealth of experience shaping lives through my teaching/writing career.

Curious I turned to their website LegacyNorthAcademy.com. Opening a page the first line I read was, “What is Your Legacy?” Whaaaaat???! Reading this question on my son’s (and Ben’s) Legacy North site stunned me. That was my line, in my story about my legacy for Charles that I had posed to my participants in career workshops over 30 years ago.

In my workshops back then, I spoke of being a single mom, losing two women’s retail stores to rocketing interest rates, losing $100,000., my reputation I had built over 10 years, my house on the lake, and my marriage. The story I told my groups was of my crushing losses including my self-worth. I thought I had to resign from my positions on the board of Women in Business and the City of Vernon’s Economic Advisory Co. because I was a failure.

How could I face the world or support my son and myself feeling utterly defeated? I wanted to leave my small son a legacy and money seemed unlikely. Then I realized I could leave him a legacy. A legacy of my life saying, “if as a single mom, I could pick myself up and start again - no matter what happens in life – you can too.” That is what I did.

I printed business cards declaring myself to be a business consultant and began a new career facilitating workshops. Two years later I became an instructor at Okanagan college for almost 30 years helping people take next steps in life. In my workshops I told my participants this story of my loss and commitment to create a legacy of resilience for my son, ending by asking them, “What is your legacy?” What actions, way of being and influence do you want to leave others?

My son never knew of this story I had spoken to hundreds of participants nor of my commitment to this legacy I made for him over 34 years ago. And yet, here he was asking me to be a speaker about “What is Your Legacy?” at the inaugural Legacy North Academy camp! Awe chilled me tip to toe.

Within my journal, I had prayed for a clear message, “Am I supposed to speak before these young athletes?” How much clearer, louder could my message be? And how profound of an outcome!

I am still digesting this life changing event (as no doubt other team members, kids, and parents are). A mother in tears told us how my Legacy story - followed by my son sharing his story - impacted her deeply. What words can describe seeing my life’s legacy fully embodied in my son’s open, vulnerable, courageous, inspiring sharing of mental/life challenges upon that stage next to me? Of us sharing our story of struggle and resilience to create a good life no matter what?

My gratitude for every moment of this experience including feeling my fear but doing it anyways, the honour of my son’s belief in me, of the goodness of his being and precious family, and the healing of past hurts is boundless.