Dear Fear: Will You Be My Valentine?

Writing inspirations and learnings within my journal helps them to deepen.

Recently I wrote in my journal about powerful insights I gained attending the live Zoom Q&A with Dr. Elizabeth Stanley* author “Widen the Window.”

On the call a woman, “Janie,” spoke of pain within her (from premature birth/lack of mother bonding) that prohibits her from deeply connecting in a lovely new relationship. Liz suggested she put “thinking about the problem” aside and give love to the well of pain within.

Dr. Stanley recommended Janie consciously hold the intention to heal this hurt while giving herself the love she missed early in life. The doctor told Janie to lay her hands upon her heart and/or hug herself while giving felt love to the buried aching loss. Only Janie could heal this hurt…not her new love or anyone else.

This advice rang true for me. I too, know of “old” pain that can be triggered over a lifetime (despite past experience with therapy, groups and positive affirmations.) At the close of the Q&A Dr. Stanley suggested we create an intention for February. Within my journal I wrote:

My intention is to literally give myself ‘Hands on My Heart’ unconditional love I need (always needed) when I am fearful.

Interesting how frequently the opportunity to practice giving myself “Hands on My Heart Love” has arisen since I wrote this intention. This practice has helped me transform my judgement about this hurt. Rather than “Really! Triggered yet again,” I have a sense of wholeness welling within.

Times when I cannot muster heartfelt love I sit with the hurt; observing thoughts, feelings, and doing my best to accept this old ghost visiting… yes… again.  

In continuing to love our hurt self - we are helping ourselves, our families, communities, and the world become more whole …one heart hug at a time.

As my husband reminded me, it is fitting I am emailing this as we approach Valentine’s Day. 

Who also needs our love?

Heartfelt hugs to all.  Teresa