Going Toward the Dark

I am awakened by a frightening image that at first seems very real…

“I am sleeping on a fold out couch in the office as I have done over the years when I am sick. I awaken in the dark and see a large man shape peering in my window near the outside garbage. I see the outline of his heavy down jacket and hood. His hands are cupped around his face, as he leans into the window to peer at me in my bed. No face… blackness only.

Frightened I am startled awake in bed. Disoriented for a few scary moments, I think I am in bed on the fold out couch in the office (as in my nightmare). Relief surges through me as I realize I am in my own bed with my husband.”

Rising early, I later walk into the dark office/kitchen side of our suite as per my morning ritual. I click on the salt lamp and in its soft glow see the dark window above the garbage – from my recent nightmare. It feels creepy. I am about to turn on the stove light to dispel the dark and my residue of fear. Then I recall listening to “Learning to Walk in the Dark,” by Barbara Brown Taylor interview on Faith Forums.

“Don't reach for the light when the dark scares you. Go toward it.” I walk away from the blush of light from our salt lamp toward the black window near the outside garbage. I lean in toward the dark window. I visualize the big, black, lurking, looming, man-shape disintegrate into black dust.

I felt surprisingly strengthened and empowered. This was healing balm for a person like me who has suffered from terrifying nightmares over a lifetime.